Tuesday, July 7, 2009
My daughter is turning one in 4 days; I cannot believe it. It's crazy to think about it. I can still remember when the mere thought of her was a wild dream, too good to be true. And now, I still stop to wonder how something so wonderful could have happened to me. What could I have possibly done to deserve her? Do I deserve her really? And is anybody actually worthy of her? I'm proud to be her mother.
I want to squeeze her tight and hold her like that, to prevent anything bad from happening to her and parting us. When I was little, I used to love dolls and I had dreams about having the most gorgeous dolls ever. But I was always disappointed to wake up and find out it was only a dream. So I thought that if I squeeze the dolls really tight upon the moment when dreams turn into reality, the doll will enter this world together with me. But reality is harsh, even to a child, and the dolls always stayed back in that better place.
I think it's crazy that someone, somewhere has entrusted me to raise a human being. Perhaps this is a bad joke? But why waste such wonderful beauty on me? I will try my damndest, pardon the pun, to do right by her.
And so my little LuLu turns one, a big girl already, almost walking. And I think back and pat myself on the back for getting her to this major milestone. May there be many more to come, my Princess!