Saturday, April 11, 2009
I was recently faced with probably the toughest decision of my life: whether to trust a stranger (a "babysitter", she called herself) with my 9-month-old child. While in the end I did, that is not the focus of what I want to say. This seemingly normal and standard procedure led me to an extremely important realization about life: there comes a point when you must simply trust. This game will not work without it. And in the end, it came down to simply that: trust.
It's funny what the mind will do to you to help convince you of the 'legality', if you will, of your choice. My husband, being the MAN that he is, spent half the day coming up with ways to physically prevent the babysitter from being able to harm our child or steal from our home. I, on the other hand, went over in my head time and again every piece of information she had ever given me in my one previous conversation with her. Piecing the information together, detective-style, I came to the conclusion that she couldn't possibly be a professional criminal and probably was who she claimed to be: a "babysitter". In the end, we both left the house with our most-priced possession vulnerably at home because we trusted this girl.
In this process, a question arose in my mind: is it possible to live this life without really trusting anyone? My conclusion: probably yes. But here's another question: what kind of life would that be? And is that a life worth living? Of course, I don't even want to think of possible consequences (and my fingers won't bent to write them) if our judgement had been wrong, but can I really imagine a life without trust? At some point, you must rely on your gut-feeling and do what feels right, even if your mind can't explain it or defend it. It's risky, sometimes too-risky, but necessary to live. Or is it?