Saturday, August 22, 2009

Minimalism - Experimental (FICTION)

"Take me! Take me now!"

"Ok..." He tries to hide the tremble in his voice. "Um...where? I mean, do you know?..."

She giggles. "You're so funny." And then, in his ear, a whisper, "Now's your chance". 

She's drunk, and he knows it. But still, he's never gotten such an offer before. She's pretty. He doesn't know where to go. He reaches for her hand, pulls away, and reaches for it again, this time with more resolution. "Follow me". 

She walks behind him, smiling. He leads her out of the building. The cold air feels nice as they step out into the night. He looks back at her, afraid she's changed her mind. She wears a blank stare, not letting go of his hand. He knows this is a bad idea. He still has no clue where to go. "This way," he says with conviction. 

They walk in silence for five minutes. He hears a noise from behind. He turns. She has the same look on her face, but tears are running down her cheeks. He turns back. They continue walking. She doesn't say a word. Another three minutes pass, before she finally pulls her hand away. "I can't walk anymore. Can't you take me someplace closer?" He wills himself to think. 

He makes a sharp turn into the park. He's never been here before, he doesn't know his way around. They walk. She speaks again. "Don't you want me?" He feels pressure. How will he expose of her?


  1. very good! finally you do not need tell the whole story in order to communicate the message! this is a huge step in my opinion. things left unsaid are ten times as important as those you have actually explained.

    very impressed.

  2. this is my type of fiction... go for it!
    btw, don't know if I told you this but when I was in college ages ago I took an erotc writing class and had to write a short erotic story. I did a lot of research and finally wrote my experimental and very taboo short and had to make like 25 copies to be critiqued in class. my mom worked at panorama then and she made the copies for me and once in a while she'd glance at the papers and call me screaming! it was so funny.